


reload

by dvinare



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Violence, Dubious Morality, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Small Towns, Unreliable Narrator, Vomiting, sexy and unhinged :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23824555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvinare/pseuds/dvinare
Summary: Renjun gurgles when the blood slides down his throat, but even when tears prickle in his eyes he can’t stop laughing. The strangled sound echoes inside the small room and finally drowns out the buzzing of the bees.Check mate.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	reload

**Author's Note:**

> “Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.  
> These, our bodies, possessed by light.  
> Tell me we'll never get used to it.”

Renjun is a dead man.

He feels his head buzzing painfully, like someone had trapped a beehive inside, only to grab him by the sides and shake him purposefully, until the tiny insects were angered enough to eat him from the inside out. The ground is soft under his shaky feet and there’s something heavy weighing one of his hands down. The air smells like gunpowder and mud.

The show is already over.

Reality downs on Renjun when he feels someone grabbing him from behind, slamming his lithe frame against solid metal. He hisses in pain, the skin of his face already raw and peeled to the point where not even meat is left, only the white bones of his broken jaw and nose. It is then that he spots the black Smith & Wesson revolver lying on the ground, covered in mud and something akin drying blood. Renjun’s hands are filthy, a sticky red colour covering them. White dust is stuck under his overgrown nails, which dig painfully into the skin of his fingers, tearing it apart, adding to the already existing mess.

Renjun can hear deafening shouting, the frequency of which vibrates and makes the surface he’s pressed against shaky. There’s someone whispering commands directly into his ear, while pressing something cold around his wrists and _click_. He can’t move his hands anymore.

It doesn’t matter. His mind is a gooey mess, brain sloshing inside until it starts spilling from his ears. 

His vision finally clears out. Instead of irregular splashes of black, yellow and blue, Renjun can see a body now. It’s lying flat on the ground, head swimming in a pool of its own blood. There is a small hole right between the eyes, which have rolled so far back only the white is visible. Perfect aim, clean shot, not a drop of red wasted. Renjun smiles in sick satisfaction. Not even the dirt in his mouth, which sticks persistently to his dry tongue and the back of his teeth, can bring down his mood. 

Adrenaline is still rushing through his veins, or it might be the after effects of the coke Donghyuck made him snort from the gross bathroom counter. Regardless, he pushes his body one last time before it runs out of gas. The cop behind Renjun is obviously underestimating his power, so he easily kicks him in the shins and watches as he goes down, pain written all over his face. Renjun steps on his face, dirty boot pressing the man’s face into the solid concrete, hard enough for him to pass out on the spot. Even high Renjun manages to control his strength enough to not crack his skull open and watch as the insides spill out.

Renjun spits on his face before grabbing the revolver, and emptying it into his victim’s unmoving body. When the bullets are all gone he feels light-headed, the bees buzzing at a frequency, which makes him nauseous, forcing him to double over and barf his guts out before passing out on the sidewalk.

  
  


.

Renjun is bored.

He sobered up hours ago and is now decomposing against the metal bench in the police station cell. Lethargy is coursing through his veins, making his movements slow and languid. He can barely muster up the energy to roll a cigarette with his shaky hands and light it up with a match he stole from the cop’s desk while he was getting shoved through the room. There is dried blood coming down from his nostrils and reaching his chin. Renjun’s pretty sure his jaw is not broken but when he opens his mouth to shove the stick between his lips, sharp pain shoots through him, waking up the bees from their slumber. He curses while inhaling the thick grey smoke, trying to calm the buzz down but the effort is futile. The annoying pests are awake and there’s no lulling them to sleep anymore.

The only way to kill the swarm of vermins is by falling into death’s eternal embrace and Renjun would sooner swallow glass shards than die in this dingy hole.

Renjun looks at the Gattinoni clasped tightly around his slim wrist and counts the ticks. Blood starts running down from his nose again.

The hour hand strikes exactly 3:00 and he gets up , joints cracking loudly from the sudden movement. Renjun is a bit unsteady on his legs, steps cumbersome as he makes his way to the metal bars of the cell. 

“Can I get a fucking tissue before I choke on my own blood and drop dead?” Renjun’s voice is scratchy, muffled because he can’t breathe properly through his nose.

The sweaty middle-aged bastard looks at him unimpressed from under his thick brows, which take up half of his face. Renjun meets his gaze unabashedly, mouth closed in a tight line so he doesn’t accidentally swallow any of the blood. The man sighs in clear annoyance and gets up from the wooden chair, which creaks under his weight.

Renjun takes another drag from the cigarette, looking directly at the security camera as he blows the smoke out. 

There’s the sound of shuffling before Renjun’s face to face with the man whose hand is extended in his direction. Between his fingers is a baby wipe, which scent, some abominable combination of lemon slices and coconut milk, punches Renjun directly in the nostrils and almost makes him throw up again. His stomach is perfectly empty, however, so he keeps his composure still and unwavering.

Renjun moves swiftly, one hand taking the wipe, the other putting out his cigarette into the palm of the cop’s hand. The man hisses in pain, clutching his hand close to his chest, which makes Renjun break into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. 

The sound is demonic.

Renjun gurgles when the blood slides down his throat, but even when tears prickle in his eyes he can’t stop laughing. The strangled sound echoes inside the small room and finally drowns out the buzzing of the bees. 

  
  
  


Check mate.

  
  
  


There is a loud crash outside and then the door swings open to reveal none other than Lee Donghyuck in the flesh. His skin glows even under the cheap fluorescent lights and if Renjun was half-sane he'd have the decency to close his mouth in the presence of Helios's very own son. Instead it hangs open, revealing the horrific sight that are his crooked teeth covered in red and okay, maybe his jaw is dislocated after all because it feels like half of his face is falling off and it fucking hurts.

Donghyuck is quick on his feet, gifted with the instincts of a wild animal, an inborn killer.

The police officer doesn't have time to get his gun out before Donghyuck darts towards him and sinks a blade into his jugular. Blood starts gushing out of his neck, but no sound comes out of his mouth as he falls onto the ground and starts spasming violently. Donghyuck removes his mask to watch as the man wiggles like a worm on the street before he gets bored and steps over the body.

"You could've broken out of here by yourself, these people don't even have basic training." Donghyuck finally acknowledges Renjun's existence, directing his words at the man who's chewing on another cigarette, laughter having died off.

"Stop bitching and get me out. My head is killing me." Renjun bites back.

The truth is he could have easily taken down everyone in this building with his arms tied behind his back, but he likes seeing Donghyuck get his hands dirty. Especially if it's for him.

It's a never-ending play. One in which Renjun is the main character, one where he rewrites the script almost entirely because life was never meant to be kind to him, so what's the point of him being quiet and obedient? The story goes something like this- small town, plans for a better life, which inevitably end up in bone-deep boredom, and then it's back to the old revolvers lying at the bottom of their suitcases, back to the cheap clubs and doing body shots off of your best friend, who is not really your best friend because you've tasted his blood and he's tasted yours on more than one occasion. Donghyuck is the closest Renjun has ever had to a family, yet the farthest from being a sense of comfort and home. It probably has to do with the fact that Renjun detests the stillness in life, never stays any place long enough to get attached and with Donghyuck there's no need to choose between a pristine house in the suburbs and a hotel room reeking of gunpowder, sweat and cocaine.

Because when Renjun pulls the strings Donghyuck follows.

It's not out of foolishness, mind you. It's the fact that Donghyuck is smart enough to let Renjun lead the way until he loses all sense of reality and moral compass, until he admits that he needs help with the beehive and his hands, which have been shaking non-stop for weeks now.

Donghyuck lets out an over the top sigh and breaks the lock of the cell.

"Couldn't you have used the key?" nags Renjun, as he retrieves his belongings and takes the packet of Sobranie out of the dead man's shirt pocket. Not like he'll need them.

"Who's bitching now?" answers Donghyuck.

"Just get me the fuck out of here, Donghyuck."

  
  


.

Renjun is cornered against a wall.

There’s four maybe five inches between him and Donghyuck, who’s breathing heavily against his neck. Renjun feels conflicted, a swirl of emotions banging against his rib cage, trying to break the bones, tear the muscles, to escape from the body holding them hostage. Now is definitely not the time to try and process them, not when they’re on the run, trying to save the little that’s left of their skin. Renjun can’t help it.

He doesn’t remember the last time his feelings were so lucid, so there, right in front of him. If he reaches over Donghyuck’s shoulder he could touch the tangible desire, which has somehow escaped his body and manifested into a shadow, visible to him only.

Renjun can feel Donghyuck shaking, their bodies pressed so closely it’s impossible to miss the movement. He feels confusion surge through him in waves. _Donghyuck doesn’t get scared._

There’s a certain type of privilege that comes with sharing a rooftop with someone other than yourself, washing the dried up blood from each other’s bodies in the cramped shower, sleeping in the same bed because it’s cheaper, swimming naked in the hotel’s pool after closing hours- and it’s that you know everything there is to know about the other person. Renjun _knows_ everything there is to know about Donghyuck.

He recognizes fear and the way Donghyuck is shaking like a leaf is not due to adrenaline, it’s because deep down exists a part of him that’s terrified. Renjun turns from perplexed to annoyed at himself because no matter how deep he digs into his rotten brain no memories resurface. There’s nothing, which can indicate why Donghyuck is pressing up against him, holding his waist tightly as though Renjun would turn to sand any second now and escape through his fingers. 

Police sirens are blaring somewhere in the distance, far enough that everything in the street corner is pitch black, nothing to illuminate the sweat on Donghyuck’s face or his trembling hands, yet close enough that the sound of car tires is grating on Renjun’s nerves.

“Fuck.” whispers Donghyuck directly into Renjun’s ear. “We should split.”

Renjun feels himself shiver. And then he does something astonishingly stupid.

He yanks Donghyuck’s head back and smashes their lips with unnecessary force. Donghyuck yelps from the suddenty of the situation and for a second can taste the blood in Renjun’s mouth. It’s revolting, absolutely disgusting and if Donghyuck wasn’t used to the smell of canal water and the feeling of getting his face rammed into the dirty concrete he might have gagged. 

There’s a lot of teeth and tongue involved and suddenly Renjun realizes that he’s never kissed Donghyuck before. He’s blown him a couple of times, maybe even fucked him against the tiles of a stranger's bathroom, he cannot exactly recall because on all previous occasions he had been completely out of it. Now though, he’s sober and almost feels like crying.

Renjun breaks the kiss and it’s like he’s sucked the fear right out of Donghyuck’s mouth because there’s a sudden buzzing in his chest and it’s not the bees.

“Rendezvous at Jaemin’s. Don’t be late or I’ll kill you before the dogs get to you.” 

Donghyuck nods, watching as Renjun disappears into the dark alleys.

  
  


.

  
  


Renjun barges into Jaemin’s room on shaky legs.

He feels like shit, looks like someone ran him over and left him to rot on the sidewalk. He slams the door shut behind himself and starts stripping the wet clothes, which cling to his body uncomfortably.

“Renjun, honey, do you mind?” Jaemin’s raspy voice finally makes him look up. He is met with the sight of Jaemin’s naked sweaty back, fucking some guy into the mattress, who looks vaguely familiar.

“Don’t let me interrupt your fun, I’m just here for a shower and to get the passports.” 

“They’re in the lobby, just tell them I sent you.” 

The man looks mortified, cheeks burning in shame, from the casual conversation the two of them are having, but Jaemin seems completely indifferent to the fact that he’s buck naked. Once Renjun enters the bathroom Jaemin swings the man’s leg over his shoulder and gets back to rolling his hips. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Renjun's sitting in the hotel lobby, laptop perched on his knees, as he looks through the news reports from the past twenty-four hours. Nothing is made public yet, which means they have just enough time to pack their shit and catch the first flight out of this boring little town. Renjun was getting tired of the heavy rain and grey clouds anyways. If he plays his cards right he might even be able to convince Donghyuck to make a pitstop at Greece. He could definitely use some sunny weather.

He feels a warm hand against the skin of his face and hisses in pain.

“Fuck you.” spits Renjun at Donghyuck who grins in satisfaction, before taking a seat.

The bruises on his face sting and would probably take weeks to heal, but Donghyuck’s presence manages to make him relax and forget about everything for a second. There’s no blood on his hands, no raw meat peeking out from the open wounds, even the bees have fallen asleep.

There are words, which are trying to fight their way through Renjun’s gritted teeth. He doesn’t dare speak them out loud because that would mean it’s time to face the implications, which come with admitting that you have a heart inside your chest instead of an empty hole.

Renjun is selfish, so instead, he tugs the leash around Donghyuck’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> someone mentioned that renjun gets arrested in the new mv and this is my direct response to that  
> renhyuck sexy and unhinged...i do not condone murder..or do i?  
> in case you were wondering jeno is the dude jaemin is fucking in that one scene haha (serene emoji)
> 
> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed.
> 
> follow me:  
> twitter- [@jenoarmpit](https://twitter.com/jenoarmpit)  
> instagram- [@mlmkillua](https://www.instagram.com/mlmkillua/)


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